How
Old Should My Child Be?
By
Mary Jane Checchi
One of the pet-related questions that parents most frequently
ask is, "How old should my child be?" My response
is, "How old for what?"
If
a parent actually is asking, "How old should my child
be before she can take full responsibility for a pet?"
my answer is, "Probably not until she is an adult."
Even the most responsible, mature, and well-intentioned child
usually is not up to such a commitment, which involves daily
care and may last as along as twenty years (in the case of
a cat) or more (for some birds).
Although
your ten-year old may sincerely mean it when he says, "I
promise, promise, promise that I will feed and exercise and
groom my dog every day, " he is not developmentally at
an age when a commitment extending years into the future has
meaning.
Children
are busy -- just like parents. Who will walk the dog, scoop
the kitty litter, clean the hamster cage while your youngster:
goes away to summer camp; gets a weekend job; joins the band
or the basketball team and practices after school every day;
lands a part in the school play and doesn't make it home until
after dinner six weeks in a row?
Who
will feed the bird, bond with the bunny, supervise the guinea
pig when your teenager graduates from high school and leaves
home to: attend college, take a job in another state, or move
into an apartment that doesn't allow pets?
In
one way or another, parents usually end up being the primary
pet caretaker. Thus it is important for parents not to agree
to get a pet unless they themselves like this companion animal
(the species, the breed, the individual), want him or her
to be part of the family, and are willing to care for him
or her. At a minimum, parents are called upon to be pinch-hitters,
and to supervise and help educate their children about care
of the pet.
While
most children cannot realistically be expected to take on
a pet's full care, there are tasks that children can do --
and should. In caring for a pet, a child can form a deeper
bond with the pet, one that can enrich a young person's life.
While giving care, a child develops a greater understanding
of the animal's nature, behavior, and needs, and usually becomes
more empathetic and loving toward this non-human friend --
and other ones as well: children who care for pets are less
likely to be afraid of, and more likely to be interested in,
other animals. Perhaps most important, caring for another
living creature, and being needed in this way, is one of the
most satisfying human experiences -- one that, in my opinion,
contributes mightily to character and to happiness.
As
part of the pet selection process, parents should make a realistic
assessment of their children's ability to help care for a
pet. They should consider each child's age, personality, preferences,
and traits. One child -- we'll call him Donnie -- may be active
and athletic. His parents may be able to count on him to run
and play with a large, energetic dog almost daily, and so
he can be responsible for his dog's daily exercise. With a
little reminding, he will also feed his pet. Donnie would
have little patience for, or interest in, a small mammal or
bird, and probably not enough patience to thoroughly groom
a dog.
Megan,
on the other hand, is quieter and gentler than Donnie, although
both are eight years old. She is less likely to want to roughhouse
outdoors. Megan will quietly watch, hold and feed a pair of
gerbils without causing them harm or fright, and can be counted
on to do so almost daily. She is not strong enough to single-handedly
lift the gerbil's tank to empty and clean it, and needs an
adult's help with this task.
Parents
need also consider a child's physical and emotional development
when trying to estimate how much a child can help with pet
care. Because every child develops at her own rate, in her
own way, this is an individual matter. One six-year old may
be capable of gently lifting a tiny hamster, but most are
not. One twelve-year-old may be strong enough to restrain
an excited, aggressive Doberman, but most are not.
Finally,
information about the prospective pet's needs, nature, physical
characteristics, and temperament is a key ingredient for assessing
a child's proper role when it comes to pet care. Most parents
know intuitively that a six-year-old should not be asked to
walk on leash an excitable, strong, sixty-pound Boxer. Consciously
or not, they have calculated the Boxer's strength and temperament
and weighed these against the child's abilities.
But
a mistake that is often made is to assume that a "small"
pet such as a gerbil, hamster, rabbit, or guinea pig can be
cared for by "small" children. In fact, the reverse
is often true: small pets are fragile and easy to injure.
Young children (up to age six, seven, and even eight) lack
the muscle coordination to gently handle these small creatures,
and most have not developed sufficient impulse control to
stop themselves from squeezing or teasing. Very young children
(toddlers, and even three- and four-year-olds) do not understand
that their actions can cause fear or pain in an animal. All
of these perfectly normal characteristics of childhood can
lead to injury for the pet or the child.
Delegating
to a child a task that is beyond his ability is a prescription
for failure. The pet will suffer, and so will the child. The
best insurance against this happening is information and planning.
Parents
should:
